Achy Breaky Heart, Balinese Style

There are no white people in Indonesia. Actually, that's a lie. I saw 3. In a week. I can understand that North Sumatra isn't a huge tourist destination, but I expected to at least see a few white people in Jakarta. Walking around the big mall next to the hotel, people stared the whole time, and some guy outside even waved at me. Sometimes I just stare back because frankly I get a little tired of being stared at all day, but then the person will say something friendly to me so I feel bad. In Bali however there are plenty of tourists, as expected. There is also a Starbucks and a Krispy Kreme so I'm happy. Yesterday night at an Irish pub there was a Balinese cover band taking requests from their song list they handed out. I requested Achy Breaky Heart, since how often do you get to hear bad country music in an Irish pub in Indonesia?

I am now on Vietnam's No Fly list

I flew from Hanoi to Kuala Lumpur the other day, my first flight since getting into Singapore and I've acquired a lot of stuff since then. I had to repack things at the airport so that I only checked 15 kg even though everything else still went with me on the plane, I just had to take it as carry-on. I remembered to take the nail scissors I had in my purse out and put them into my checked bag, something I've forgotten to do many times before. After everything was rearranged (I think I had about 15 kilos in my carry-on bag) I went through security. They made me open my backpack and take out the knives. I had no idea what they were talking about at first, but then I rememberd I'd put a little bag of heavy things from my big backpack into my carry-on backpack which included a padlock, playing cards, batteries, and 2 sharp knives. I felt really dumb when the girl tried to tell me I wasn't allowed to have those on the plane, I tried to explain that it was an accident but either she didn't understand or just didn't believe me. I threw the knives out, then she said I had to give her the fork too. Luckily I was allowed to keep my spoon. Then she took my passport and wrote down the number in a book. Good thing I don't really want to go back to Vietnam, because probably I wouldn't be allowed in. A while later I got on the plane which was full of Vietnamese people going to Malaysia for jobs and who I'm sure had never been on a plane before. They kept trying to get up and go to the bathroom while the plane was taking off, and when the plane was landing they all covered their ears with their hands and leaned forward as if the plane was crashing. The flight attendants kept yelling at them, so it was at least an entertaining flight.

Additionally, Vietnam is weird because...

13. I went to the same bakery two days in a row. The first day, I bought a croissant for 6000 dong. The second day the croissants were miniature sized but still the same price. I said they were twice as big the day before so they should be half price today, but their response was, "They're made by children."

Vietnam is also weird because...

9. I ordered chocolate ice cream yesterday at a restaurant and what I got was clearly a broken up ice cream bar in a drinking glass. At least it was still ice cream.

10. You can get your ears cleaned at the hairdresser. Isn't this something that you'd rather just do yourself?

11. People wear surgical masks everywhere. Mostly on motorbikes, which I guess I understand, but then they don't take them off later and will walk around everywhere with them on.

12. I went on a boat trip for the day that included swimming and going to a beach, and most of the Vietnamese women that came wore long pants and high heels.

Vietnam is weird because...

1. Walking down the street one evening I heard loud music, which turned out to be from two old men sitting in their underwear in front of their tv singing karaoke

2. They think that "You buy something.(?)" is an appropriate sales pitch

3. I was accosted by an old woman and forced to speak English

4. They put things on the menu but don't know what they are if you try to order them

5. I just electrocuted myself trying to turn on the light in my hotel room

6. They think after you say no to buying something from them, if they ask where you're from you might just change your mind. No, it doesn't matter where I'm from, I still don't want to buy your Mentos

7. They look at you funny if you actually pat the dogs

8. Some of the women wear outfits that look like pyjamas